Who am I?

Who Am I Really?


   More often than what I’d like to admit, I find myself looking at a stranger in the mirror... wondering, who in the world am I?

   I question who I am, and who am I to become. When I have difficulties recognizing myself and especially my actions, I come to the uncomfortable realization that I am forced with the undulating responsibility to pull myself up by the seat of the pants and recreate an identity that I (and others) can more realistically accept. I am unfortunately faced with the Herculean effort of creating and recreating a sense of … Me.

      Am I, the totality of this physical entity called: Sherry? I mean, am I merely a physical body that takes presence in an exact time and location. Eating, sleeping, breathing. Should I reduce myself to such a simplistic and mundane of a creature? I certainly hope not!   Let me explain. I have been recently informed that my oddities have a name. Imagine a label for a defective human being… how great is that? I was apparently born without small fiber nerves in tact. The latter is labeled Hereditary Sensory Autonomic Neuropathy.

    My condition makes me appear to not feel pain. I suffer from a sub condition that consists of my brain being wired differently than mainstream society. This condition is referred to as Aspergers. Aspergers is a substrata that lies in the Autism Spectrum of disorders. So, I suppose that if I were merely a physical body, I would be a defective one alienated from all other humankind. My DNA makes me a mutant here on my native earth, leaving me a one of a kind freak. I must confess to you dear reader, I am prone to an extreme disliking of determinism. Absolutist thinking defers any sense tactfullness or taste, in my mind.

   Am I, simply the by-product of my environment? Reductionistic minds may want to simplify a unique human beings existence to merely a bi-product of the world around them.

   Am I the result of my parents? Of their anger and self-absorption. Can I be little more than the effects of parental misguidance? Can I redirect all of the blame for my Being, back on two young individuals who gave me life and tried to keep me alive? That particular form of hypocrisy, I’m afraid, I can not partake in. My folks brought me into the world, end of story. My grandmother and aunt helped raise me. They assisted in feeding, clothing, and educating my simple little mind. Does this make my extended family accountable for my actions, and my choices? I truly hope not, they have been peacefully laying 6 feet under ground for years.

    Can I lay accountability for my defective-ness on a man who took advantage of my naïvete?-- of people who harmed me by their relentless pursuits of happiness? Can I condemn the selfish acts of Schadenfreude, or condone school children for bullying my young mind- existence? No, I think not.

    Could I be the decisive resolve of my Thoughts? My choices? Thinking without acting, indeed seems pointless. That being said… If every action carries with it innumerable consequences with the self as the ultimate author, then… I indeed have caused my own misery. If what I choose to Be, I become; then what have I become?-- one might ask. Let’s mesh all of my forms of original cause of Being, into a melting pot of possibility, and see what potential arrives from the soup pot of life.

   Stewing and strewing together reality. I am a physical body, trapped in a particular environment, faced to make specific decisions based on whatever circumstances might arrive.

    Yes, this is what I believe myself to be. A tangled web of messy DNA, opportunities, experiences.

    I am a bundle of unrecognized potential awaiting the moment to spring from deep inside of myself and act. I am, the woman that loves, lives and laughs. I cry at sadness, rage at injustices, praise certainty in uncertain times. I am prone to likes and dislikes, but ultimately… I Am. I breath, I love.

   I go with the flow and I enact control over small amounts of my environment. I attempt to entertain a simple place in this world. I attempt to Be.

    I have relationships which I treasure. I have passions which I fruitfully attempt to moderate. I make futile efforts to effect this world that I live in, in small and simple manners. I long, I reach, I direct, I play. I give, I take. I believe and I have faith.

   I strive for life affirming, and shy away from life destroying or self serving behaviors. I sacrifice when there is just cause. And, I walk away when people aim to demolish my being without reason.

   We each create the story of our lives, I am desperately attempting to write mine, but still I’m locked in an uncertainty, who am I really? And what is my role in this Universe, that we live in… I am, an Unknown…

 

                                                    

Psychological Paper airplanes

Drowning in sorrow

“Lynn?” a momentary pause, “Hi. Come on in and have a seat. How are you doing today?”

   The short brunette obeyed, just as she always had, all of her life. She didn’t want to though, someday they’d see-- someday she’d show them by rebelliously not doing as they asked. Before she could answer, he blurted out:

“Now let’s see here… Yup! OK! All set? Brutus says you’ve been a little down lately. Would you like to talk about it?”

    She had just met the Doctor but she had already concluded this was nothing more than a blatant waste of time. He wouldn’t understand, he couldn’t. Apparently no one could. Of course she wanted to tell him of the horrors that raged inside of her mind; she just couldn’t. Maybe someday she would grow strong enough to freely associate, allowing herself to relax and explore the unconscious realm within, sharing openly whatever came to mind no matter how trivial or embarrassing.

“I guess.”

“Well, where should we start? Take me verbally somewhere where you feel comfortable, maybe like your room or a favorite spot. That will get the ball rolling.”

     The sheer audacity of that man! As if her special place/ her only haven, her unconscious; the place where her thoughts, wishes, feelings and memories dwelled-- could simply be described by words. Oh the prison of words. Inside of her mind she screams: let me out of here. I have enough problems without wasting all this time. But on the outside she smiles courteously. She knows that this delay is dangerous-- if she doesn’t answer he’ll think her insecure and unable to trust, and what if she answers wrong?

    With a mellow tone she responds: “There’s a bench by the overlook at my house, it’s real pretty there. Sometimes, I like to just look out at the lake and watch the water, while I do my homework.”

   She smiles. She visualizes her spot-- yes, perhaps this is close to her unconscious. But what she really needed to say is that she goes out there every night, especially when dad’s had a long day. She likes to watch the murk-ridden water. It’s ripples hold a certain mystery to life. She dreams of going out with that tide. There, life smells too; it has the distinct odor of freshness, of freedom. She loves that water-- that view. The sun always sets though, but she’s used to that; nothing good can stay. No, only the bad seems to persevere. 

    “Good. Good. So we’re at your special place, where you feel comfortable. Now, close your eyes-- Keep them closed. We have to stay there! What else do you feel?”

   “What do you mean?”

    “Do you feel happy?”

    Does she feel happy? What kind of shit is that? Aristotle says happiness, has to be complete/whole to exist. Aristotle says happiness has to be in a perfect state. Since life is to be considered imperfect, without exception, due to our unrealistic expectations and limited perspectives then… death can be the only means of true happiness.
    
    Since death is a state of non being, non consciousness; then, how can we ever be happy? What kind of fool would ask a question like that? Is he some kind of Buddhist? A Buddhist that believes in extreme moderation and self- control? A man that decisively structures his life around precepts such as: not wanting and doing without... Is he in desperate hopes of escaping the hedonistic treadmill? Her lack of response in turn motivates the Doctor to continue on.

     “Do you feel sad?”

    With all of her might, she attempts to banish the anxiety arousing thoughts and feelings from her consciousness-- she has to repress her inner desire to say yes, at all cost. She goes to acknowledge him with an affirmation, but something (her ego), unconsciously switches this unacceptable impulse into its opposite (reaction formation).


     “No. I don’t really know what I feel.”

    What a blatant lie! She knows exactly what she wants to say. She is aware of exactly what she feels and the words sit on the tip of her tongue, she’s barely able to hold the urges back. Feelings are perhaps the only things she does know. To much she is naïve and ignorant, as to the ways of people in the world, but to her own self this she is not blind. She governs her life by her inner feelings. She makes sense of the outside world by knowing herself and what impulses she feels. She looks for external cues from others but ultimately she utilizes the most intricate details of all of her own experiences in a desperate effort to understand others and their motivations. She is failing. She feels lost.

    She felt so confused. She wanted to know so many things. Like a meaning for it all. Why was she here, did she have purpose? What purpose was being made for her being alive? Was there a pre determined reason why she was here? Did a superfluous other construct a pre ordained reality prior to her birth? Was she a responsible agent of herself or for another?

    Did her actions and her struggles matter or where they all for a loss? Was she constructing her own meaning as she lived in each action and made each choice throughout her life? She longed to ask the doctor, but she couldn’t her mouth went dry.

    She longed to ask how does one prove existence, for it was driving her mad. Madness yes, madness and genius are bred of the same branch. Different, anything different must not be good. Anything different gets kicked out of mainstream society, ostracized, and eventually forgotten.

    He would surely tell her that existence was proven through the identification process. During childhood the super ego developed, with values from  parents, and these included ideals of God… or, quite to the contrary, he would affirm the Cartesian Truth… I think, therefore I am.

     He doesn’t strike one as the religious type, so probably more the second. Yes definitely the second this is a liberal man in front of her, of that she is most certain. The latter would then lead Lynn to an ingenious line of questioning that would go something like this:

     “Then you know you exist because…”
    
     “I’m conscious.”
    
     “And you know you’re conscious because?”
    
     “I’m aware of my surroundings.”
    
    “And how do you know you are accurate at all in your   
     awareness?”
    
     “Because I feel…”

     “Are you stating the instability of a mercurial mind, the everfleeting moments of passions and emotions, are

     the platform upon which you build your faith and certainty of a

     greater reality? Beware of the fallacy of misplaced

     concreteness, dear Doctor. 

 

It's far too often that the mighty have

     fallen to that fatal flaw of hubris, the inflated ego. Placing too

     much confidance on a single individuals emotionally swayed

     interpretations of life can be extremely destructive.

 We are

     plagued by our own narcissism, Doctor. Our expectaions and

     unrealistic demands blind us to a reality very independent of our

     own personal experience. The world frequently doesn't concern

     itself with our feelings and frequently frustrates our most basic

     needs."

 

"Do you really desire fluctuating feelings to govern our

     existence? Let me reroute where I’m going with this. You know

     that you ’are’ quite simply because your mind tells you this

     much, correct? Your consciousness tells you that your

     perception of being is in fact ’being’?”

   
     “I suppose.”
   
    “Then how do you interpret any perception?”
    
       Thinking carefully the Doctor would surely return with: “I feel it is correct-- I feel that it is real, therefore it is real.”
   
    “So everything that you believe to be or feel to be, in ‘fact’ Is?  
     Be careful Doctor you’re nearing unforgivable ignorance here.”
    
Lynn would warn him of his fatuity.

     “Where are you going with this?” The doctor would prompt.
  
      “And what of your dreams? Have you never had a dream that 
     mocked life so closely, was such a precise portrait of life, that 
     you actually lost touch with whether or not you were sleeping or
     awake? I mean a dream that felt so real that you initially
     believed it to be reality itself?”
  
    “Well, yes-- no. I don’t know; that’s different.”
  
    “Finally an honest answer. You don’t know-- this must be the
    most intelligent thing you’ve said thus far. And I appreciate the
    verity of that response. But back to our subject. Let’s finish what
    we started since we’re so close to the end. As to your indicating
    it’s different, how so?”
  
   “I always wake up when I’m dreaming.”
   
   “What’s to say that, perhaps, this isn’t just a figment of your
    dreaming imagination and the real world doesn’t await you
    somewhere on the other side. How can you confirm that all your
    friends and family aren’t sitting around a bedside with you in a
    coma, wondering when you’ll awake?” She smiles at her
    ingeniousness.
 
  Would the Doctor answer, “Does it matter either way?”

     “Lynn, Lynn!!! Hey come back. Tell me what’s going on.”

      Oops. She had introverted-- in her quest for personal control, the feeling that she was in control of her environment, rather than being helpless there in the office. For the longest time, in fact even now, she feels the external locus of control -- those outside forces, which dictate her fate-- plaguing her every thought.

   She had learned [to be] helpless because she was unable to avoid the repeated aversive events. She had learned to be abstract, after all a formal and final concrete was not to be found. Not even if others pretended that there were absolutes. and spoke with certain permenant tongues. No, life was all about a series of abstractions; why shouldn’t she conform.

   “I’m sorry, my mind must have wandered for a moment.” (or 36 ½ minutes.) She grins passively.

     “Well, maybe next week you won’t feel quite so uncomfortable with me and we can start to talk more. Maybe actually get something done."

(He giggles, she smiles.)

     "I’d like you to take this test next week, it’s not graded or anything but… it’s just for fun so that we can get our bearings as to where you and I stand. This test is a series of inkblot pictures and I’m going to have you tell me what you see in them. It’s called the Rorscharch inkblot test… blah… blah..blah… I’d wished we could have scratched the surface, at least, of why you seem so sad. Maybe we can start breaking down those walls.”

     Did he mean her special walls which had taken her a lifetime to build? The ones that formed a maze so complex that only she periodically could find her way through them. No. Her walls were impenetrable.

     Only sleep could save her-- no one else could find the way through. Alone. Her pathways ensured that she, herself could not transfer anything from the inside out.
  
    No. One way doors, that’s how it seemed to work. Unbreakable barricades had been built. Silence was deafening and she could not communicate so that others would understand her.

    Just sleep could push through those doors-- sleep could make her walls come crashing down so life wouldn’t be so unbearable any more. If he wanted too, she wouldn’t have to be alone and scared anymore…

    He continued, “If you need anything or want to tell me anything, feel free.”

    Of course she did. She liked the office. She enjoyed the waste of time. She even truly liked the Doctor. He seemed like a nice person. (although not too bright!!) As she walked out the door, she whispered in that small voice, (sitting on a bench), locked in the center of a maze:

“Please don’t let him hit me anymore.”

    Her silence seemed to suck away the very essence of her being. The walls so thick, the water so deep-- she surely would not make their date. Lynn had a prior engagement with fate.

10 Commandents

  

 

 

 

"10 Commandments"

  Forty days and forty nights are said to have passed before Moses descended from Mount Sinai. Moses finally returned to his people after having dared the desert journey of bearing witness to God, all mighty.

    (Just as the Israelites had wondered for 40 years, perhaps indicative of the average amount of time it requires a believer to maintain a confidence and firm enough belief to cognitively restructure the idea of God from an external source to an internal realization that an individual, alone is responsible for his actions and for his convictions-- I.e. to attain a more holistic level of spiritual and psychological maturity in life??)

    Upon Moses’ return he, much to his disappointment, found his very own brother, Aaron, to have bastardized his efforts and lured his people into the depths of pagan worship. In the traditional ritualistic sense, the Israelites were idol worshipping a bull-head statue and adorning it with gifts as though it took on a life of it’s own. Moses’ people prayed and engaged in senseless praise of Gods that were not conducive to the One in which they had sent him to travel and engage. Moses appalled at the scene, smashed the tablets at the foothill of the mountain. He was forced to return to the comforts of the true God to confess his anger and poor judgments.

    God historically forgive his child Moses, and used the frustrations as a teaching tool, to guide Moses into a better understanding of what he was commanded to do. Moses returned to the Israelites a second time.

     Again he palmed two tablets that, according to the Talmud, the compendium of traditional Rabbinic Jewish Law and interpretation of biblical verse, “The tablets were written on both their sides“. This mirror imaging was according to Rabbi Hanin ben Gamaliel, a sign that the tablets would establish a covenant when duplicated. The latter could be compared and supported by the diplomatic treaties of Ancient Egypt in which one copy of the agreement was made for each party involved.

      Moses tells us (for he is the accredited prophet and/or writer of the first 5 books of the Old Testament) in Exodus (20:1-17) and Deuteronomy (Septuagint 5:4-21) that:

I am thy Lord, thy God, Thou shall have no other Gods
No graven images or likenesses
Nor, take the Lord’s name in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day
1Honor thy Father and thy Mother
Thou shall not kill
Thou shall not commit adultery
Thou shall not steal
Thou shall not bear false witness
Thou shall not covet

       In the Talmudic sense these were labeled sayings or declarations that were entrusted to Moses from God himself. The Greek translated these statements at deka logous or “10 terms” of Moses. The Tyndale/ Coverdale traditions translated them “10 verses”, in which case the Geneva Bible, the Bishops Bible and the Authorized King James Version stated that they were actually “The Commandments” of God. Needless to say, agreeing upon much between people is quite a daunting task, but all parties involved have been willing to accept the importance of the simple fact that these in carved words concern only matters of fundamental importance:

The greatest obligation--to worship only God
The greatest injury to a person-- murder
The greatest injury to family bonds-- adultery
The greatest injury to commerce and law-- to bear false witness
The greatest intergenerational obligation-- to honor parents
The greatest obligation to community-- truthfulness
The greatest injury to movable property-- theft

     Although clearly similar to the Hittite and Mesopotamian law codes-- such as the code of Hammurabi inscribed in a stone stele-- they were not as explicit as detailed rules and regulations; rather they provided guiding principles that apply universally across changing circumstances. They do not specify punishments for their violation and their precise impact must be worked out in each specific situation.

    The concept of the one and only Absolute and Certainty in this Earth giving man a volition, thus leaving the slave individual responsible for the choice of deciding who and what he was, and what actions he would take, was unique and novel at this time to the Israelites.

     In a time of blind obedience Moses demanded that each practicing practitioner be personably accountable for his actions. Each individual, alone, would stand for the consequences of his decision, so he must chose wisely. The chosen people were finally free, free from the grasp of tyranny, free from external controls, free and on his own… but at what expense? What is the price of a free man, and how much must he pay to be cast out into the world of absolutes with his own volition consciousness?

     The days of certainty were now marked as done, and the Israelites would hold themselves to a higher more humanistic order of punishment based on situation and circumstance. The world was to be a different place, changed forever, when Moses descended from Mount Sinai. Life as humans knew it, would never be the same after the acceptance of these precepts became clear.

     In response to Moses’ epic victory against group servitude to an individual’s often harmful, and self-centered orders, the Leviticus priests quickly added 603 (totaling 613 all together) additional duties and ceremonies to be performed as per strict Jewish Law. In Judaic tradition, the 10 sayings are accompanied by the 603 mitzvot. These are outlined in the 7 Noahide Laws. Medieval Sefer ha Chinuch stated that the first 4 statements concerned the relationship between God and Humans and the next 6 statements where of concern between the relationships of people.

      In the era of the Sanhedrin, transgressing any one of 6 of the 10 Commandments theoretically carried the death penalty; exceptions being the honoring of Father and Mother, saying God’s name in vain and coveting; though it was rarely enforced due to a large number of stringent and evidentiary requirements imposed by the oral law.

      The construing and belittling enforcers who made the other 603 restrictions, attempted to construct a timeless standard of living, and once again rescind man to a smaller and more simplistic way of life; however, the damage was done. No amount of kashrut dietary laws or strict rituals would place man back into a box. Certainty had been released cast as “a ship adrift at sea” (Jaspers), mankind could no longer be bogged down and trapped by the comforts of being directly told what to do.

     Most of the rules pertained to lifestyle choices that should have been optional teaching guidelines for how to preserve everyday life in times of difficulty, but when turned stringent and oppressive, they became as cruelly imposed as the regime to which the Israelites had just been freed. Because the slave was now free, the former master and he were equals, and thus the result was the immediate awareness of the contingency of the here and now.

      Aware of newfound “rights", a sentient being was born; alone, scared, thrown into a confusing reality that would spiral into a new era of change. An epoch of altered view points, consciousness’ and perspectives would arise.

       The grueling and daunting isolation of being thrown into a world, faced with the undulating vicissitudes of life, and the lack of foreknowledge of a purpose began. Mankind had to depend on mankind, learning the experiences of his antiquity to help construct more of his own place in this world.

     God was starting to step back, and leave man to resolve his own issues. Slowly evolving, the mind of man had released itself from the restrictions and constrictions of man ruling as God ... thus final say on verdicts.

     Now, the individual believer was suddenly burdened by the complacency of the immediate. His faith in the one and only God, whom could not be directly experienced--neither seen, nor heard-- yet this almighty Deity was surrounding mankind and in contact with him daily, became a plague to storm the thoughts of the thinker, who did not Know his fate.

    Man was contrasted to a material world, constantly familiar with the ubiquitous stuff of life; and forced to construct an understanding of the reality of the unseen.

     The Inquisitor-- or newly developed volition-- propounded a plethora of questions to a world, a God, that would refuse to answer. Only indirect messages were sent via courageous prophets who sacrificed themselves in lieu of the possibility of angering an almighty force beyond his control. Something unforeseeable had began amongst the masses and Moses was part and parcel to it. Suddenly, Moses had become the advocate speaking the words of God, for God.

     For the Jews, the mishna records the practice of reciting the 10 statements everyday before the reading of shema, but practice now is much different. This ceremonial process was altered and abolished in Synagogue so’s not to give ammunition to the heretics who claimed that they were the only important part of Jewish Law. Today, the Big 10 are heard in Synagogue 2-3 times a year. During the festival of Shavuot, the worshipers rise to their feet for the reading, to highlight their spiritual significance.

    The, then Pagan, Christians… took the 10 Commandments more liberally then the Israelites. They limited themselves to only 10 and no more. They were free and would not be a peoples restricted again, or so they thought! (Fear and intolerance of difference would hold them captive later on, in superstitious feuds of vengeance and hate, but, anyhow…) Christians are only bound by 10 laws of God. In Roman Catholicism, Jesus freed the Christians from the Jewish obligation to keep the 603 mitzvot, but not from their obligation to keep the 10 Commandments; they are the moral order to what the Creation story is to the natural order.

    Protestantism uses the 10 Commandments for 2 purposes: (a) to outline Christian life to each person; and, (b) to make each person realize through their failure to live that life, that they lack the ability to enter heaven on their own. Thus--the 10 Commandments primarily serve to lead each Christian to the Grace of God.

    Jesus revealed the 1st and Great Commandment: “And, behold one came and said unto him, Good master, what good things shall I do that I may have eternal life? And he said unto him, ‘Why callest thou me good? There is none good but One, that is God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.’ He said unto him, ’which’? Jesus said, ’Thou shall not murder, Thou shall not commit adultery, Thou shall not steal, Thou shall not bear false witness, Honor thy Father and thy Mother; and, Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself.’ Gospel of Matthew (19:16-19)

　

 

 

 

 

 

7 Deadly Sins

America the Beautiful, but at what cost?

    Ever see a toad and think of his avarice. Witness a snake and ponder if he was envious of your life? Did you see a lion and think “why so wrathful”? Have you bore witness to the snail with its slothful behavior and wished it would move faster? Have you seen the gluttony of a pig and been disgusted? Have you wondered why the lusty old goat, lusts? Does the peacocks pride puzzle you?
   
     All of the latter bothered our ancestors when the behavior of animals was displayed with an overwhelming force in the humans around them. And thus was born the concept of the Christian Church The Seven Deadly Sins.


    The initial concept of the modern 7 Deadly Sins is accredited to none other than the 4^th Century monk, Evagrius Ponticus. He labeled in Greek these as Cardinal errors displayed in Human Kind:

Gastrimargia

(Gluttany)

Por neia

(Prostitution, Fornication)

Philagyria

(Avarice)

Hyperphania/ Philokalia

(Hubris or Excessive Self-Esteem)

Orge

(Wrath)

Kenodaxia

(Boasting)

Acedia

(Dejection)

              Years later a Western tradition Pieter of the Catholic devotion, John Cassian revised the sins into their 1^st of the Latin version:

 

  Gula

     (Gluttony)

 

    Fornication

(Fornication/ Lust)

 

Avaritia

(Avarice/ Greed)

 

Superbia

(Hubris/ Pride)

Tristiia

 (Sorrow/Despair/Despondency)

 

                    Ira                      

(Wrath)

Vanagloria

                                                                 (Vain Glory)                                                                             

 

Acedia

   (Acedia/ Shay/ Sloth) 

  

     In 590 AD, Pope Gregory the 1 folded sorrow/ despair/ despondency into the sin of Acedia; Vainglory became known as Pride; and envy was added as a sin. The new order that both Pope Gregory and Dante Alighieri in the epic Divine Comedy was finalized as such:

 

 
Luxuria

(Lechery, Lust)

Gula

(Gluttany)

Avaritia

(Avarice/ Greed) 

Acedia

(Sloth)

Ira

(Wrath)

Invidia

  (Envy)

Superbia

(Pride)

 

 

         The Contrary Virtues, 7 major Human Vices, Capital Vices, or Cardinal Sins thus were born. In every action that a person chose, they had to thus wise partake in the process of defining themselves as a good or bad being, which placed a large burden not only on the individual but, also on his/her teacher who must instruct the youth on proper conduct. Subtle recall tactics were employed to help students learn appropriate alternatives and decisions to crude misbehavior.. The acronym of SALIGIA was given as a quick reminder to Catholic students to recall how they should behave as a proper human being. The biblical idea of the 10 Commandments was to be followed but human-kind had evolved and the Christian Church felt that it was high time that standards rose as well. Biblical basis’ for the Sins can be found in:

Book of Proverbs (Mishlai) when King Solomon stated that, “6 things the Lord hates, and the 7^th he detests.”

A proud look.

   A lying tongue.

Hands that shed innocent blood.

A heart that devises wicked plots.

Feet that are swift to run into mischief.

A deceitful witness that utters lies.

Him that sows discord amongst brethren.

Galatians 5: 19-21

      The Epistle to the Galatians listed: Adultery, Fornication, Un-cleanliness, Lasciviousness, Idolatry, Sorcery, Hatred, Variance, Emulations, Wrath, Strife, Seditions, Heresies, Envy-ings, Murders, Drunkenness Reveling, “and such like”.

  The Apostle Paul goes on to say that the persons who commit these sins,

“Shall not inhabit the Kingdom of Heaven.”

    The “Evil Thoughts” were categorized in 3 groups: Lustful Appetite (Gluttony, Fornication, Avarice); Irascibility (Wrath); and, Intellect (Vainglory, Sorrow, Pride and Discouragement). They were immediately counter-balanced by the proposal of


7 Holy Virtues:

Humility

Charity

Kindness

Patience

Chastity

Temperance

Diligence
 

1.) The Concept of Lust Explored:
 

Excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. In Purgatory, the penitent walks inside flames to purge himself of his sexual and lustful thoughts/feelings. In Inferno, the unforgiving souls are blown about in restless hurricane-like winds, symbolic of their own lack of self-control to their lusty passions in earthly life.

　

 

  2.) The Concept of Gluttony Viewed:
 

To gulp down or swallow, over-indulge and over-consume anything to the point of waste. Excessive desire for food for its withholding from the needy. Thomas Aquinas constituted Gluttony as an obsessive anticipation of meals and he included the eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods as part of the problem.

 

 

Praepropere--eating too soon

Laute--eating too expensively

Nimis--eating too much

Ardenter-- eating too eagerly/ hastily

Studiose-- eating too daintily or keenly

Forente-- eating wildly or boringly

　3.) The Idea of Greed, Avarice and Covetousness:

  

   Sin of surplus, applied to very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status and power. Thomas Aquinas said that this was a: “Sin against God, just as all mortal sins in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things.”

 

In Purgatory, penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on “earthly thoughts“. Avarice is a blanket term to describe many other examples of greedy behavior:

 

disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, treason especially for personal gain
bribery, scavenging, hoarding of materials or objects
theft, robbery especially by means of violence, trickery, manipulation of authority all activities involving greed and such misdeeds can include-- Simony or one who attempts to purchase or sell sacraments including Holy orders therefore, positions of authority in the church hierarchy.

  
   Greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.

4a.) Sloth: The Hidden Curse:  

         In the 17^th century this exact sin was believed to be accosted to anyone who had a failure to utilize ones talents and gifts. In Purgatory the penitents were portrayed as running continuously at top speed. A modern view of this sin is laziness and indifference which as at the crux of the matter. Since this contrasts with a more willful failure to, for example, love God and his works, it is considered more a sin of omission than of commission.

4b.) Acadia the Apathetic Curse

    
A neglect to take care of something one should do is hereby presented. Apathetic listlessness, depression without joy. Melancholy, only describes behavior versus emotion producing it. Lack of Joy is willful refusal to enjoy the Goodness of God and the world God created, by contrast, apathy was considered a refusal to help others in time of need.

 Thomas Aquinas called Acadia an uneasiness of mind, being a progenitor for lesser sins of instability and restlessness. Dante said that this was a failure to love God with all one’s heart, all one’s mind and all one’s soul. This was considered a middle-sin, characterized by an absence or insufficiency of love. This sin could also include a despair which leads to suicide.

5.) Wrath and Rage: A Predicament for Others?

   
         Inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred or anger. Wrath in its purest form, presents itself with a self-destructiveness, a violence and hate, that may provoke feuds that go on for centuries. Wrath may persist long after the person who did another a grievous wrong is dead. Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways including impatience, revenge, vigilantism. It is a sin of selfishness and self-interest. The course of wrathfulness for selfish reasons can be a jealousy closely related to envy.

   For Dante, vengeance was a “love of justice perverted to revenge and spite.”. Anger included internal and external vices. Suicide was deemed the ultimate of wrathful acts, albeit a tragic and unfortunate decision of hatred directed inwardly being a final dejection of God’s gifts.

   It is said that in the Pagan world, God cared about how I treated God. In the Judea tradition, I must be good to you, to be good to God. And in the Christian tradition, God flat out cares how I treat you. And thus we have the birth of ethics and the origin of human tragedy, we are to be held accountable for our choices and actions.

      In 1526 BC the prophet Moses was born to a destructive beginning of the slaughter of infants in the Nile river when the Pharaoh Thutmose 1 ordered all Hebrew boys to be drowned. Amram, Moses’ father, and Jochebed/ Yocheved his mother, gave infant Moses to Miriam-- Moses and Aaron’s older sister-- who courageously decided not to allow the lose of her beloved sibling. She put baby Moses in a basket and floated him gently to the Pharaoh’s daughter, Thermuthis/ Hatshepsut?, who was bathing in the Nile.

   The Pharaoh’s daughter recognizes the infant as one of the Hebrew children and feels sympathy for him. She has her servants fetch him from the reeds and immediately Miriam jumped out from behind the bushes and offered to assist the princess in finding a slave to take care of the child. Miriam brings none other than her mother to ensure the well-being and care of her sibling Moses.

   “Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay you,” Pharaoh’s daughter said to Lockheed (Exodus 2:9). Hence as a result of Miriam’s boldness, Moses was raised by his own mother until he was weaned, at which point in time he was adopted by the Princess and became a member of the Egyptian royal family. The princess turned Queen/ Pharaoh only had a daughter Nefrure and so again a son of the Pharaoh her husband, by a lesser wife was brought forward as a successor. Moses considered Hatshepsut’s adopted son his brother just before Thusmose II ’s accesion in 1514 BC.

     So, to recap at this time, all of the Isrealites are captured slaves, or endentured servants, except for one... baby Moses.  Moshi has been taken and accepted into the Pharoah's royal family. Moshi gets mad when he finds out that he was adopted, and that his adopted parents are not his actual genetic lineage. He storms off, enfuriated and confused. Moses is recorded as killing a guard who was beating a slave, in this difficult and conflicted state. Moshi, him from the water, runs off... until he is called upon by over arching responsibilities to Other/God and his duties to all of mankind.

      On Mount Sinae, when Moses brought down the 10 Commandments he got angry at the debauchery that his peoples were partaking in. He smashed the stone tablets and God used the instance to teach Moses a leason.

      Moses’ anger, although seemingly justified in those inimical and extenuating circumstances and was perhaps a natural and readily available reaction, was ruled inappropriate in how it materialized itself. Moses had to learn not to put his own Will-full-ness over God’s Will, and to be obedient and controlled for the sake of a higher cause.

     Placing his emotional outburst in check, was one of the primary issues that Moses grew from at this point in time. He acquired a more intimate and intricate understanding that he was human too, all too human, and that his passions and convictions could easily get in the way of his over arching goal.

 

     Anger is a painful and powerful emotion and when expressed violently can destroy without remorse. In the parable of Herod versus Jesus, the King had heard of the coming of the Jewish Messiah, the future King of the Jews was to be born and rise. Herod immediately responded by slaughtering all babies born in that period of time in order to remove all contentions to his thrown. The act was forever to be referred to as the slaughter of innocence when the babies of Jerusalem were needlessly killed. Jesus family went to Egypt to have him be born. When anger leads to cruelty and violence there seems to be no means to bind it. More often than not, the painful and powerful emotion is the most destructive force on earth.

 

     In 30 AD at the Sermon on the Mount Christ preached for men to “turn the other cheek” and express yourself with dignity and strength without violence. At the time of his crucifixion Christ the pacifist stated: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”, in his epic statement of rising above vengeance. Jesus followed a theory that the rabbinic teachers had maintained that: anger was like a boiling tea kettle, you don’t know where it is going to run, spill and overflow into and burn. Anger is what you do with it, we all have passions and they can lead ultimately to sin, but only violent anger is a transgression.

    Anger can be transferred into a positive if it provides a motivation for a human being to better themselves through non-aggressive hard work and dedication in efforts to benefit a community. Hell, by Jesus’ standards was an angry place that he called ghena, which really was comically enough, a garbage dump out of Jerusalem that he was referring to. You can see how he viewed the hell-bound in levels of importance by this description that he provided for his disciples.

 

6.) Envy-- The Insatiable Desire:

 
      A greed sin was largely associated with material whereas envy is more generally applied. Those who commit to the sin of envy not only resent that another person has something that they perceive themselves as lacking, but they also wish for the other person to be deprived of it. Dante said that envy was: “A desire to deprive other men of theirs”.

   This violation is directly related to the 10 Commandment of… “Neither shall you desire nor covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.” In Purgatory, the punishment for envious behavior is for the individual to have their eyes sewn shut with wire because they have gained sinful pleasure from others brought low. Aquinas called this the “sorrow for another’s good” syndrome.

 

 

 

7.) Pride-- Do You Remember the Tower of Babel??

A desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, an excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante called Pride the: “Love of self, perverted to hatred and contempt for one’s neighbor”. Jacob Biedermann wrote the Medieval miracle play Cenodoxus, where pride leads directly to damnation of the titular famed Parisian Doctor.

The sin of pride is the sin that caused Lucifer to fall from Heaven and was the direct resultant to his transformation into Satan. In Dante, penitents were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs, to induce feelings of humility.

The vainglory and vanity is a futile endeavor, where unjustified boasting leads directly to damnation. In the 14^th century, the strong Narcissistic undertones of irrelevant accuracy that retains today appears. Vanity is the Narcissist’s curse.

The Demons associated with the

7 Deadly Sins were as follows:

Lucifer/Satan = Pride

Mammon = Greed

Asmodeus = Lust

Leviathan = Envy

Beelzebub = Gluttony

Amon/ Behemoth  = Wrath

Belphegor = Sloth

   One Jesuit scholar believed that men were more prone to lust and woman to pride. In 1973, Karl Menninger wrote the book Whatever Became of Sin?, in which he argued that modern ethicists should include cruelty and dishonesty as more serious offenses and sins than gluttony and sloth. In 1908, Andrew Culbertson’s How One is not to Be, he added fear-- the psychological condition of a delusional disorder-- and superstition-- “Belief in things that one does not understand to be part of and still gives money to frauds and spiritual confidences to men”.