How do I live, if living is w/o you?

“I wait”

I wait
On the verge of an emotional breakdown,
A sordid houseguest of my former self,
I cry.

Somewhere between the tears
The phone rang

Kicking me in the ass
With the harsh reality
That the caller ID
Didn’t read my Doctor’s number on it…

Still no medical results.

I wait.
My patience runs thin.

I, a nervous wreck,
The intricate balance of my life
A rip tide of thoughts
Rush
As I laugh at the entire
Macabre of the scene.

The storm rages outside
A storm aloud in my eyes
Not enough rain
To cover me
As I lay a pugilist on the ground.

With every slamming of my neighbors door,
I dissipate into incoherence.

Tears, memories,
Blow
About.

As if anything can be contained
Properly?
Anxiety…

I nail the past down
With a thunderous blow

Laid
Past out on the couch
I’m faced with the truth that another
Sun has set

And
A storm of confusion
And uncertainty
Still reigns down upon me.
Waiting, waiting, I wait
But still no answer.

Will I live or will I die?
Oh medicine, the medical field
Do decisive answers exist?
It seems not!…

Take my hand and walk with me
I reach my hand for the thresh hold

With your hand set me free (he leaves)

Let it rain, let it rain, let it reign
Truth down upon me

We all need to create the story
Which will make sense of our lives.

Where is peace?
Who can define?
The blowing of the wind
Through the window pane?

I watched my love leave
Preoccupied.
And…

Still no answers.

My house empty
Lonely,
Now I feel empty.
Alone and lost.

Nervous and waiting.

What is meaning
And what ultimately matters?

We each create our sense of value
We each construct a formulation of a reality

The phone doesn’t ring.
The sun set on me.
He left.

What’s left?
But loathsome tears
Falling from my sad eyes

Awaiting
And losing all that I hold dear.

The storm rages
Tring.. Tring…tring…xxx