"Jilted"
Beware of the ruins
In a chorus of might-have-been’s
She lay in the sanctuary of her bed
Where once he had embraced her
Cradling her close to his chest.
The solemn boob
Who had never been abreast of things
Had walked out the door
Never to return.
He left her triple ninon
Voluptuous and green
Delicately the nights had gone
Spiraling and rolling into the
Control of absence
Never again has he been seen.
She loved him and he left.
Married to the night.
She was contracted as a puppet
When her passion was not in sight.
She missed him in every old haunt
Every crevice of her house
All reminded her of Him…
What was, and what might-have-been
Had she not been such a louse…
Marred and withered
Was her hope
That ever he’d return
Despondent and depressed
Her heart would only yearn
On the walls
The shape of the creature
That once formed her “I”
Dancing to their favorite song
Drifting off to sleep
She closes her eyes
Shutting the lid on a memory
Of night and missing Him…
She cast dark shadows
For far too long…
Alone and sad…
What dreams may come??
Seeking shelter in the familiar:
Luggage.
A trip without a suitcase
Express
One way ticket
To a crystalline
Desire.
The crumbling roads
Took me home
To the familiar
Valley of guilt
Exploited by a ruining purpose
I compelled that man shall be man
Age long program
As I returned to the towering
Phallases of
Home.
I thought of you
My polar exploration
And cried
Cold are the recesses of the heart
As I return to the chaos
Humble and brittle
Subtly transformed by your indifference
Now that we’re apart
I miss you.
Once I was a delicate windbag
Wandering
Now the horizons
Hold no wonder
The wind
No interest
I hunger in the pillars
Of a high-rise apartment
“Home“…
Yeah sure, I guess
That’s what they call it…
My longing and desire
Cast a shadow
Of my doubt
Why did I ever leave
The possibility of you?
I’m a failure
And a run-away
I escape from hardship and pain
To the city of indifference?
In my window pane
I weep with the memory of you.
I’m here
But I wish I was there
I feel like I’m no where
And I’m lost…
Missing you…
And as for Ego’s:
We live for ourselves
Pride the imposter
Shroud in tears
Who ever said Pain Insensitivity People couldn’t feel pain
Was wrong!!!
Each moment w/o you feels so long
I wish that there was something I could do…
But wait…
A woman in waiting
In a murmuring matrix
Counting the holy words
As the Ba al Shem Tov
Usurps the memory of
Our passing love
In ogred corridors
Haman’s name is mentioned
At the Purim festival
And the children rattle with contempt
The Torah dance on Simchas night
At the Synagogue I cry
At the Heraldic
Falsettos
Of the smallest Hebrew violin
Crying into the night…
I choke in tranquil recollection
The vapors of my fabled cite
Vividly I constrict my throat
Strangled by the neck tie of my desire
The years duff their innocence
And I am dying off
The music sends
My eyes starring
Inarticulate
Is the rostrum-rounding roar
A seven-circled air
Of trumpets
Incognito, lost, except in pollution
Certainly far off is my sigh
Alone in a crowded room
w/o you
Shabbat Shalom
Jew Boy
L acunal… lachrymose tale
Seeds of illusion hurt.
In the silhouette of the temple
I was myself
And by myself
And the larceny of my secret
Resounds
With the succession
Of my trackless
Cries
Descending bow
Echoes
Regret
With a telling tongue
I was probably meant to keep
In silent homage…
Pavement beneath my feet…
In this endless detour
Of affronting
Shying distance of circumstance
The footsteps leave…
And I lapse into the memory of what once was…
Happiness…
Recapturing a sense of self:
Who am I?
Tick-Tock
How can time heal
The gaping wounds
That have split my heart
When we severed our bond
And decided to part?
Hell be my indefinite surroundings
Fire and Ice within me fight
No amount of heavenly hash ice cream
Can soothe the flames of my desire.
No spongy Twinkie diet
Can absorb the tears
I cry
As the funeral pyre of
What memorializes our
Love…
Lost…
Seeping from my weary eyes
Came
A river
As the artificial intelligence
Streamed
My phone refused to ring
A jingle tone
That indicated that you might again
Be near
I miss you dear…
Yet still you do not call…
I cry…
Floored…
Literally
Sitting on the floor
Alone and sad
Sorrow has it’s place
To heal the wounds
And bruises that you left upon my soul.
I wasn’t good enough
And still delusions of adequacy
Filled my mind.
Addicted to the blue in your eyes
Beaten and abused
Is my ego
I can not find
A sense of me
Again.
I don’t know why,
So confused,
Missing you,
Missing me.
I’ve forgotten the identity
Of who I used to be.
Leaving Me Inside:
“It’s just what I do.”
I cry in my silent vigil.
Deep within the reaches of me.
I wish I could accept
The burden of my hypocrisy.
I can’t forgive me
For not forgiving you
Anger welled up in my eyes
For there was nothing else that my brain
Could think of to do…
But be hurt and mad….
I walked away,
Angry…
Leaving me tucked up inside
A little voice say’s she’s sorry
But it doesn’t matter now
Not to you, not to me, not to anybody.
I sink resignedly away…away…away…
Into the nothingness of absence of thought
Tears falling, tears falling
A soul tear collapses
The memory of what I used to Be,
What’s acceptable to me?
And does it matter?
What a curse!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment