Raider
I am
My journey’s end—
Spending cries and tears
Blood-red
Mania crashing
Slowly thrashing
Through my every word
Action
Lost in thought
Losing
My mind
Approaching
Long since
Expedient
Unavoidable
Demise—
Oh madness
I am—
My journeys
End.
The gentle lover
Beads of droplets trickle down
As he shows his passionate sweat drops
Falling upon her gentle face.
Together they press,
As they engage in love with one another;
He holds her tightly in his arms.
With soft kisses he encourages her
To be open with him
As he is one with her.
He feels complete with her,
And she compliments him perfectly,
He embraces her hoping she’ll never leave his side.
My Man
He leaves her in a time and place alone
In a house, not hers
Rules, not her own
Where does he go?
He says he “loves” her
Funny way of showing it!
Sitting here wondering when he’ll return
Hours pass by.
She’s crying.
He was angry when he left
Says “[he’ll]…be back soon”,
Smokin’ weed every night.
Her heart is breaking in two.
Does she dare leave his anger,
--follows—
He leaves her in a time and place alone.
The Dragon
The dragon breathes fire,
Down upon my heart,
Incinerating my every thought,
Burning my very mind?
Why must his anger,
Torch my spirit so?
He tells me he, “loves me”
Fat Chance! I’m his toy, for his sexual pleasure. When I say “no”, I see the real frustrated side of him appear. Why can’t I be cared for? I’m lost, never able to find my true love again. I’ve let him go, never telling him my true feelings! I’m a fool, never able to find myself… my soul mate again. Forgotten spirit trapped in a teeter-taught ring never-ending chaos of mate-less life. If geese can find lifelong happiness then why can’t I?
Her love
Her soul blooms to him
As a flower opening gently to his every motion
Passionately moving as kindred spirit
Deliverance
He holds my world captive
Plaguing my every being,
Attacking, with bouts of passion and anger.
Who is this abomination, this “man”!
Where are you justice?
Purify my soul—no! opaque curtain
Brethren the opportunity for wisdom now appears.
This is my tribulation…
No!… My world will no longer be held hostage!
Caesar will no longer be “God”!
May he be All or None! One or the Other!
I have no qualms about it; love or hate?
The Deliverance.
Delivery
Satin sheets and fairy tales
Kiss a frog if all else fails
No prince appears.
Old toad she tokes
Sits so long one day she croaks.
Lemon drops, and sock hops.
Rock and roll, and bee bops.
He lays comfy all alone he fails
Satin sheets and fairy tales.
The sleeper:
She curls up on his chest and falls asleep. It’s the first rest she’s had in a month. Home’s been so chaotic mania… memoirs of dad ripping her out of bed in the middle of the night. Screams night-mares and tremors; sweat and waking…soaked…sleepless, un-rest-full nights…why?
She’s now so protected. He touches her forehead with his lips and ever so carefully cradles her close to him with his arm. He embraces her as to say you’re with me now, and, nothing will hurt you on my watch my love. She bows down knowing she is secure and treasured. She curls up on his chest and falls asleep for the first time in a month, everything’s been so chaotic.
She’s now so protected. He touches her forehead with his lips and ever so carefully cradles her close to him with his arm. He embraces her as to say you’re with me now, and, nothing will hurt you on my watch my love. She bows down knowing she is secure and treasured. She curls up on his chest and falls asleep for the first time in a month, everything’s been so chaotic.
Where’s my peace
Where is it to find? There seems
No refuge, to ease my mind.
 |
His pain
He looks to me
In search for some sort of refuge
As if I know how to help him?!
Who am I?
I play as though I am all cool
I act as if I can save him from himself!
He seeks something
Something to free him from the agony of being himself
As if I know how to help him?!
He needs a break from his depression
He wants to escape from his pain
As if I can save him from himself!
Deliverance
She looks into the sky
And prays to the world above
The sun seems to shine for another with such love.
For darkness fills her soul
The dark toll part
The endless plight
The depression fills her heart.
She begs the Lord “please save me”
Yet there is no refuge for her to bear
Deliverance is not in sight
She finds that no one cares!
And so the story no longer extends
Never again to be
The night so quickly ends
The sun mourns a memory.
The un-religious
He folds his head in praise
I do not understand in what;
He prays to an unknown God,
I cannot relate, although I try.
Friendship Too
My friend I come to you—
Although it’s only because I care—
I don’t comprehend the things that you do—
Yet I want you to know that I’ll always be there
The Holy Trinity
Praise you bellow?
Rebirth and rise of the Holy Spirit,
The light comes through
Christ emerges, the sin of my every day being
--shines—
repent!!
Forgiveness and baptism in honor of Jesus,
The Lord, the son/sun of God in the Heavens above.
I am the son/daughter of spiritualism/faith
I praise him and I cry out!
As the world never forgets how you abandoned us your children
How long has it been since I’ve heard the sweet echoes of your voice!
Have you forgotten me your believing child?
Confusion!? Where hast thou gotten my dear father?
Where art thou?
Have you carried me right along dear Lord?
--sorrow?—
Decisions:
The decision weighed heavily on her mind,
Does she leave him? Or, does she continue to tolerate the Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde personality. He screams, she cowers. She doesn’t know why. He cries, she comforts. He loves, she’s confused. What does she feel towards him? Fear? Pity? Care? Friendship? Does she reciprocate his love or, is it just that they’ve been together so long that she’s used to going on as if they’re in love.
She’s caught in a trap! She’s at the corner of walk and don’t walk and simply doesn’t know which direction to go. Her mind is filled with questions without answers. Lovers, friends, but, a true relationship? Even lovers? Even friends? She’s so uptight, she doesn’t know if she can take much more of his intolerable love and annoyances! His “love” hurts her mind too much! The decision weighed heavily on her heart!
She’s caught in a trap! She’s at the corner of walk and don’t walk and simply doesn’t know which direction to go. Her mind is filled with questions without answers. Lovers, friends, but, a true relationship? Even lovers? Even friends? She’s so uptight, she doesn’t know if she can take much more of his intolerable love and annoyances! His “love” hurts her mind too much! The decision weighed heavily on her heart!
Anticipation
He smiles
My heart melts
He carries me to his bed
I rush with anxiety
He kisses me ever so gently
My body quivers with anticipation
He embraces me with love
My life falls into oneness.
Plea
So confused, so lost completely in my head
Engulfed in my own mind
Self en-bodied unable to exist fully outside of myself
Trapped as if I’m locked within
Seeing the world as if I’m distant
Acting as though I’m someone other than myself…yet I know that
“I am” who “I am”?
Help! Please…Help
Mark:
And so the Warrior prays,
His strength is with “God”,
Although man may let him down;
He praises the Lord,
And puts his faith in him.
And then there was one
And he stands with meaning
That he created on his own.
A fate which he himself
Will write as his life will live.
He is a free thinker
Open to all that he encounters.
Always open to change
As his life is his.
His very being belongs to him
And his free will never be held captive
A prisoner of no king nor beast,
His existence precedes his essence.
Notes on Mental illness
The thing that we least understand and are most afraid of.
Nowhere is the stigma higher than where the mind betrays the body.
We fear losing our minds, for at last, what sacred apostles word could hold more weight than each of our own mind.
On the same:
Food has no taste. I only eat as an appeasement to others.
“Entertainment” that gathers other peoples attention bores me, my mind wanders in a million different directions. I cannot be still. My body shakes with energy. My mind reels with anger that the world will not and quite simply cannot understand. My plight of “to-do”… to move, to be “on the go”, why don’t they understand me? The voices come! I’m alone. I seek solace—I seek comfort. I’m uncomfortable in my body. Where is “peace”? Nothing calms me. I cannot “relax"!
Chapter: No remote? Where’s the control? The Confused Years
Drove to the levy today looked down the precipice and thought about how lonely I was. But why? I’m not lonely on the inside, am I? I wish I had a friend to share my time and compassion/love with. How sad it is to have no one physically there to be with…to share your dreams with…to fill your time with (something other than beautiful thoughts). There must be someone out there for me…someone precious and real/true in heart; someone to impede on my lonely precipice of loneliness. Seeking till then…
Where was I and when did I miss the memo?
You claim we broke up and she came to your bed?
You say all these things that I supposedly said.
I was with you one week and the next she was there
We were madly in love and then suddenly you didn’t care?
She filled my place, you coward you wouldn’t face…
Back you came, as though things were just the same?
We were broken up conveniently then once again we’d start?
You cleared your conscience by saying we weren’t together
Well darling I’m not interested in changing like the weather!
Make your choice me or infidelity!
When did our love become a demo?
Where was I and when did I miss the memo?
A sacred knight
Scantily robed, the little girl bellows
out at the moon.
The habiliments of madness drape down
She cries, “death cannot come too soon”.
Upon her head lay a thorny crown
Of “shoulds” and “all-mosts” and “why didn’t you”
She drops to her knees and prays to God/nature/herself to anyone
Chimes
The chimes ding
As a butterfly would sing
(had he had a voice to bring)
In my heart I know that peace will come soon
Although chaos fills my spirit with its mournful tune.
Where is this harmony that you Doctors have so cunningly defined?
You live your lives so perfect and refined?
You label me and throw me out into the world;
You speak to me so despondent and unfurled!
Where am I to go but so happily into my mind?
For sometimes I seem so desperate for a hope to find.
All of your jargon and medicines too
Well guys I guess I’ve gotten the message through.
For only within can my peace be found!
The green lantern
A glimmerance of light
Shines through the night.
Worked into a panic;
Constant motion
Violent waves like an ocean.
Always moving, cannot be free;
Green light,
Mind takes flight,
Why must this be?
Briefly
She makes the news
Why’d they have to use
Her name in the paper
Why’d he have to rape her?
Alone and scared…
As though few cared?
Simply a spot
A media dot
Soon to be forgotten.
Sher, I always loved your works! they're really good. you always put so much feeling in them. by the way, i like the pics haha,especially the one of the fam. we are all grown up now :(
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